Confidence

I love, I admire, I respect to the confidence people... i know i' m no where near to that, i always needed some assistance to go the place, where i want to go... i need someone to push and kick me hard at the ass where only i will walk forward...i always do admire to the confidence people are surroundings me... However, looking back at myself, sometimes feel that i need to change something at myself..& FLYING always from here...BUT, how to start...

Sometimes i'm hate myself so much that i always failed in my career life...
all these things always drive me give up from my life, on the other hand, Sometimes, i'm also thankful that i have experience plenty of emotions and that is actually how LIFE should be...